“The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”
-Charlotte Brontë
There is a part of me, some very lonely, longing part of me, that absolutely craves a relationship. Not familial, not strictly friends, not a coworker. An Other. Someone to love, who will love me, perhaps not unconditionally, but enough for us to make a life together.
But what I want is quite different from what I hand to myself.
Nobody wants someone who hates themselves, who’s too broken to even try fixing their heads, too weak to search their hearts for what went wrong. Answer this honestly, who wants someone like that? I don’t even know if I want to fix myself at this point. I’ve found my niche in being ruined.
So whenever I get that feeling, the one where I want someone to wrap their arms around me and hold me tight, whisper “I love you,”…I simply tell myself to stop thinking such silly thoughts. It's not gonna happen for me. I don’t even love me, so why would anyone else either?
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