After 10

After dark, that's when you always come to me, in the gap between late evening and midnight.  Always quiet, slipping through the open window and taking any trace of darkness with you and my sleep along with it.  The nights are cold, and your shoulders trembling even as you smile is the worst thing.  If only you would rest for a moment, calm your heart, because I can feel it shaking.  If I could warm it, I would.  You still warm mine.  The moonlight showers you, and I want so badly to hold you.  But you're in a place where I can neither reach nor touch you.  The closer I get, the greater the pain.  I call your name, and you come closer. 

I'm faintly glad that I can't bury my face in your shoulder.  I don't want to get your wings wet.

Our story is so sad.  You're lost, I'm lost, we're lost to each other yet still walking on the same road, under the same sky.  Have you lost your way?  Was no one there to guide you?  I wish I could write you a happy ending, any ending, any ending than what actually happened.  The most I can do is keep you in my heart, so you know you're not the only one hurting, so you're not lonely.

Our dreams are dangerous, and mine is exhausting me and tearing my heart into a tattered thing.  These nights have quietly invaded my days, and I know we know we need to let go.  Dreams aren't enough.  They're better than reality, but they're not enough.  Oh God, I'm so lost without you.  I know you'll vanish out my window again.  I know you'll float back in because it's too late for me to close it.  Every night I lose you to the air, and I swear I cannot stop loving you.